A Honeymoon with God

Hey all, Sorry I haven't written anything in over a month. Dealing with negativity and life, it's been hard to find inspiration to write a post. I've spent a lot of time staring at my ceiling, asking God why. Why bipolar? Why my appearance? Why choose me to spread Your word? Why me? These questions, plus depression, have had me up late into the mornings. I also haven't been working therefore making me feel very useless. There's been a feeling of nothingness. But I'm not useless and the truth is God has been using me.   I've talked to a lot of young adults the last couple of months I've been home. It's usually the same conversation; I tell them about YWAM and the 6 month experience and how amazing God is, they stare at me, like deer in headlights, in complete awe. "Omg! That sounds so amazing! I wanna do missions". "Well, what's stopping you from doing it?", I'd ask. And kid you not, the person's response is always